Imagine you held, so tight your best friend

[mekachu04]

SUPERNATURAL FANFIC

Title: Imagine you held, so tight your best friend
Series: Supernatural
Rating: R
Pairing: Castiel/Dean, mentioning of Dean/past girls
Timeline: Mid to late season 5
i.. i dunno. i have no excuses. Okay - i do, but i don't feel like sharing. This really never meant to be a smut piece - it started as a drabble about Castiel and his musings on the Impala ^^;

This is actually my first (consensual) sex scene... as in.. ever... So.. if you read it - and COULDN'T guess that tidbit - then my job is done.
This Dean might be have a feeling of less self-worth than Show Dean
Title from the song "CAR" by Five Iron Frenzy

Disclaimer: Kripke's sandbox is left unguarded at night. and thus - at night i shall play =^.^=

*+*+*+*+*+

The backseat belongs to Anna.

It belongs to the women Dean had loved there. The ones that, while he never could introduce them to his father, loved them enough to bring them to the only home he's ever known.

Belongs to the ones that would never understand that - backseat sex meaning something so entirely different than that to them. Meant something as throwaway as they thought they where to Dean - what he meant to them.

But Dean remembers them - remembers them all. Remembers their names, and their faces; the sounds of their voices, and the smiles they gave him. The love that he felt for them, so strong even in if briefness.

That moment of emotion, that brief intimate connection that Dean longed so intensely for. That he still craves so fiercely for.

Castiel wasn't going to take that away, refused to take away those brief, but pure, connections that anchors Dean - that made him feel loved. Castiel would never soil their importance, nor try and replace them.

But add to it, oh yes. But never, ever take it away. Won't sully those precious moments. Dean needed them too much.

Needed every moment of love, no matter where he had felt he had to turn to get it, no matter how brief and lost-cause it had once been.

The skin across Dean's knuckles stretched white under is grip on the Impala's frame, fingers scrambling to hold on the polished metal. Castiel pined him to the metal frame, a tight solid blockade that would normally have made the Hunter feel trapped - but now he basks in it's certainty and support.

This maybe a single brief encounter, but Castiel will not allow it to be a lost-cause. Not one more lay to someone who didn't love him the way Dean loved back.

Dean's heavy jacket has ridden up between them; jeans only remaining at his waist because Castiel's knee is wedged between Dean's legs, forcing the man to take a wider stance as the former-member of Heaven's Host arms wrap around Dean's hips. As his hands work steadily around Dean's heavy arousal.

This will not be another tally mark on the list of inevitably futile endeavors.

Dean's shoulders hunched, breath ragged. His head dipped down until his forehead pressed solidly on the car's top; cold metal flush against too hot skin. His body moved against Castiel's; knees pressed into the door frame to keep from shaking. His hands anchored him to the Impala, kept him grounded while Castiel jerked him off - an act he told Dean was not necessary to requite.

This was not a 'scratch my back' gesture; a romp into just a mutual physical release. This was a gift of absolute love in the only way Castiel could give it that Dean would accept and acknowledge. The only form of love outside his family Dean seemed to feel he could understand.

There was no voice behind the pants, the steady 'Cas, Cas, Cas' mantra soft as the once powerful angel fitted himself against Dean's back, chin fitted into the grove between shoulder and neck and murmured not-words back. He ghosted kisses into the jawline just below Dean's ear, but otherwise just remained close, breath warm and constant at Dean's side.

Even the love of his family was something Dean often could not comprehend. Despite how willing he gave it - he couldn't fathom it when it was returned to him in kind. Like he couldn't understand why it was being directed at him at all.

Dean gasped out soft noises, puffs of not-sounds between each sharp inhale, before he tensed, pushing back into Castiel's weight. A low keen caught in his chest, body caught tight between the Impala's steadfast frame and the angel's solid, and just as unmovable, body.

Cum painted the door and soiled the heavy denim of Dean's jeans. Castiel rested his forehead against the crook of Dean's neck, glancing over though lashes to will his hand clean, before it came up to rest on the human's shoulder, fitting awkwardly over the mark he'd left on the remade body in what seemed a life-time ago.

His right hand had tucked Dean back in, newly cleaned fingers fumbled with the button before ghosting up Dean's torso, cupping his shoulder, then running the length of his arm. His fingers entwined with Dean's, freeing the window frame from the punishing grip it had been under.

"I've got you, Dean"

Boneless under him, Dean relaxed, breaths struggling to return to normal. He sagged against the car, letting the framework hold his weight for him, only Castiel's sure grip keeping from sliding to the ground in a content puddle.

Castiel let them rest there a moment longer, breathing in slowly and deeply, letting Dean's breath sync with him, letting Dean's hammering heart fall in line with his corporal body's steady pulse.

Through the frame, Castiel willed them, Dean still pulled and tucked against him; drifting off already, just happy for contact and for warmth.

They curled up along the front bench, twisting their bodies around the space to lay comfortably; the passenger door and it's contours unnoticed under Castiel's back. The long coat Castiel had worn like a protective skin was pulled around them both now, Dean sleeping shifting heavy and deep without Castiel's added touch, and without the usual helping hand of alcohol.

Castiel rested a hand against the seat, feeling though the car to the door - wiping it clean before anything dried and stained. This was Dean's constant after all, and she'd extended her roof to Castiel. The least he could do was to do his part in keeping her beautiful, make sure the whole world could see her gleaming with Dean's love and adoration.

To show the all of God's creation the human he'd fallen from Heaven for was a man of heart and, while he had his shortcomings, was a man who not only gave, but was deserving of unconditional love.